Judicial profiles are the most educational articles in the local legal paper, "not because of the 30 column inch piece about the judge—which invariably contains several useful nuggets of information and is itself an extremely valuable resource—but because of what they teach about the use of euphemism," says Justice William Bedsworth.
A few samples:
- “He knows the law.” Unfortunately, “the law” he knows is the law of averages. This guy is flipping a coin up there. Totally clueless.
- “She’s very careful.” Careful? She’s paralyzed is what she is. I’ve never seen anybody so slow. It takes her an hour-and-a-half to watch “60 Minutes.” Give us a break, lady, make a decision. While we’re young!
- “He can be tough.” Cantankerous old viper. Toughest decision he ever has to make is whom to bite next.
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